Saturnine
by BJArthur
Summary: Tag-on to Convenience: read that first. Not everyone marries for love; you just do what you can and try to move forward.


so i've been advised by y'all to continue the Remus/Ginny vain i'd started in **Convenience**. i actually started and finished this on an airplane. i had just stepped off in ATL with this rolling around in my head and i bought a new notebook to write it in before i even met my pickup-person. i worked on it the whole time i was in GA and on the return flight from Charlotte i finished it. after a week's worth of editing, this is the final product. it's short, i know, but i hope y'all enjoy!

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Saturnine: adjective; melancholy, gloomy and morose, sullen

Arthur tapped his fork against his empty breakfast plate as he stared intently as an old burn mark (or was it new; did it even matter anymore when there were so many?). Molly, after being married to the man for so long, recognized the expression as a combination of confusion, frustration and concern. It was how he looked when Bill had told them he had applied for a transfer to Egypt; when Charlie first started showing a serious and dangerous interest in dragons; when Percy began to get too close to Fudge; when the twins dropped out of school; when Ron and Harry had run to the edge of hell and back when they were only 17. It was only fitting then, she supposed, that he would look like this about their Ginny-girl too. Their sweet little Ginny, who continued eating her pancakes and eggs as if she hadn't just shot a stunner at them. Ginny had basically given up on life, on happiness, since Fred and Colin and so many others died; since Luna disappeared somewhere in Sweden; since Harry had finished Auror training a month ago and had yet to come for her. The only joy she found was in a little boy that she saw as her own son even though he wasn't. And now she was giving up any future happiness to a man she didn't love because the boy she _did _needed her.

Arthur frowned at the burn mark. His baby girl was getting married, but not because she loved the man. Arthur had nothing against Remus – he was a good man and he tried to be a good father by doing what was best for his son. Arthur was even willing to over look the age difference, which was _considerably _vast. Remus could be Ginny's father. Even his werewolf condition wasn't that big of a deal because Arthur knew what a responsible man Remus J. Lupin had been, was, and always would be. But he didn't _love _Ginny. Remus wasn't going to marry Ginny because he loved her; he was marrying her because his son needed a mother. And while it was true Teddy needed a mother's love, it shouldn't be the reason why Remus married Ginny. Or why he married _any_one for that matter, even if Ginny _was _the best for Teddy.

Molly wasn't focused on the reasons behind the marriage so much as on the wedding itself. Ginny had mentioned a small ceremony in about a months time at the Ministry with just the family, Andromeda, and Harry. Teddy would be there, of course, but it was _far _from what Molly knew Ginny had once wanted for herself: a great big wedding full of family and friends, staged in Hogwarts' Great Hall with a reception on the grounds. It was going to be all shades of green and beautiful. And most likely Harry would be the groom. It was going to be warm and full of love. It was _going _to be, but not any more. Now it would be _cold _and _colourless _and in some civil judge's office at the Ministry. Not at all what a wedding should be. Or a marriage. Marriages should be full of love with the prospect for children; Remus and Ginny might've been _fond _of each other, but there was no love, not enough for them to have any children.

For herself, Ginny wasn't thinking anything. She didn't taste the food in her mouth, feel the fork in her hands, or see the table in front of her. She was doing her best to keep her mind completely blank. Thinking about much of anything wouldn't be a good idea seeing as she would most likely end up crying. She was one month away from being 20; she wasn't ready to get married. She had agreed and she always kept her word, but Ginny knew that she wasn't ready to be any one's wife. But she was going to try, because she had promised she would.

--

"Ginny," Remus said through the leaping green flames, "Teddy would like you to come over." Molly's ears perked up as her daughter walked over to the fire place.

"Is everything okay?"

"Yes, I think so." Remus looked over his shoulder a moment then turned back. "He just wants to see you." Ginny sighed and ran her hands over her face, through her hair.

"Fine," she mumbled, "tell him I'll be right there."

Remus nodded and the fire place turned back to its original orange. Ginny turned to her mother. "I'll be back later, mum," she said as she grabbed a bit of floo powder.

At Remus' flat, she was met by a few different things at once. The first was a pair of thin arms wrapping around her legs, nearly toppling her over, followed by a bright flash of turquoise hair turning red and a quick formation of freckles. The second was Remus standing by the doorway, rueful smile across his lips. He looked good leaning against the doorpost, muscular arms crossed over his chest. Almost a little too good, and that thought frightened Ginny enough to make her focus on something else. Like the heavenly smell coming from the kitchen beyond her host. Tomato soup and grilled cheese: a warm, comforting scent that eased Ginny's mind somewhat.

"What's up, big man?" she asked, smiling at the boy wrapped around her knees.

"Can you move in tomorrow?" Teddy asked, his young voice excited. "And can I call you mummy yet? Do you want to stay for dinner, please?" Remus laughed at Ginny's semi-stunned face.

"One question at a time, kido," the werewolf chuckled. "Ginny won't be moving in for a little while yet; we still have to make room here. Snd maybe you should wait on calling her your mum until after we're married? You can stay for dinner, though." Aged amber eyes laughed into liquid brown. "We made more then enough." Ginny blinked before frowning at the older man.

"I can speak for myself, Remus, thank you. And I don't mind if you call me mum, Teddy." Ginny crouched down in front of the boy and took his small hands in hers. "In fact, I'd like that a lot; but I want you to let your Grandmum Andie know that it's something _you _want. I don't want her getting mad at your dad or me because she thinks I'm replacing your _real _mum, who was a pretty amazing woman."

"Will you tell me another story about her?" The red-haired woman nodded, and Remus' heart clenched; he missed his sweet Nymph.

"Tonight before bed, yes." Teddy beamed; it was a kind of tradition for Ginny to tell him stories of his real mum before bed when she stayed for dinner. Ginny didn't want him forgetting where he came from, and both Andromeda and Remus appreciated it. "Come on, now; lets go get washed up for dinner."

Teddy chatted away all throughout dinner. He talked about his day at Grandmum Andie's and how he found this really cool bug she wouldn't let him keep ("It was green and blue and had these red things sticking out of its head! And it _glowed_!") and about the story she told him about a giant and a beanstalk at naptime, and about how Remus was going on a business trip in a few days ("He's going to Australia, where the _kangaroos _live."). And he asked questions about what would happen when Ginny moved in ("Will I still have to go to Grandmum Andie's every afternoon?"), about what would happen at the wedding, and what Remus was bringing back as a present ("No, Teddy, you're not getting a kangaroo, not even a shrunken one."). For the most part, Ginny and Remus remained silent, only speaking to answer Teddy or _'Teddy, you need to eat your soup'_ or _'could you please pass the butter?'_ One question, though, threw them both for a loop.

"When am I going to get a sister?" Ginny and Remus balked at the boy. "Birdie said that mummies and daddies give good boys brothers and sisters and I've been really, _really _good so I was thinking my birthday or Christmas would be nice. And a sister would be sweet and quiet and not take my toys." Birdie was Teddy's invisible friend; he didn't know many children his own age, so he made one up to make up for that. Ginny and Andromeda thought it was adorable.

"Um…" Remus looked at Ginny, unsure. "Theodore –"

"Or it could be a brother!" the three year old cried, thinking he was in trouble; the grownups _only _used his full name when he was in trouble. "I can share my toys if you want."

"It's not that, sweetheart," Ginny said, trying not to look upset. She put her soup spoon down and placed her napkin on the table beside her plate. Her hands, small and soft, folded over her bowl as she thought of the best way to tell Teddy what he needed to know. She would not lie to him.

"Having a brother or sister is more then just being a good boy. Normal mummies and daddies get married because they love each other and they have babies because they love each other. But your daddy and I aren't like normal mummies and daddies. We aren't getting married because we love each other; well, we do but it's not the same kind of love. We're getting married because we love you. And because your daddy and I don't love each other the way normal mummies and daddies do, I don't think that you're going to be getting any brothers or sisters, sweetheart."

Teddy's eyes dropped, his hair changing to his natural, neutral brown, his emotion plain on his sweet face. Remus and Ginny shared a pained look across the table. It was in that moment that Remus realized two things.

The first was that Ginny was a _remarkable _woman. What he had asked of her was _incredibly _selfish, but rather then slapping him (as she very well _should _have) she decided that Teddy needed a mother more then she needed to be happy. She was giving up everything she could have because he had asked her to. This brought him to the second realization: Remus _wanted _to make her happy. She deserved it, after all, since she was giving her future up to basically become a live in nanny shackled to a mangy old werewolf. He had no idea how he could give her _half _of what she deserved, let alone all of it, but he wanted to try and give it to her anyway. Remus _vowed _to himself that he'd try. He wouldn't make her regret her decision; he'd do everything in his power to keep his promise to her about making things good for them.

Ginny didn't like disappointing Teddy, and she hated thinking that she'd never feel new life growing inside her, but it wasn't her decision, not anymore. It was Remus' too, and she had seen his face when she had mentioned Tonks before. Ginny wasn't about to throw herself at a man who was obviously still hung-up on his late wife and only marrying _her _because his son needed a mother. She knew that they didn't love each other enough to do the whole 'baby-song-and-dance'. It nearly killed her knowing it, but Teddy would have to be enough for her. It wasn't fair placing all her hopes for children on one tiny boy who wasn't even hers, but she had to start putting her own dreams away so she could focus on doing right by him, for him.

And so the day ended as it had begun: quiet, confused and strangely dissatisfied.

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so whatchya'll think? is it alright? i really like grilled cheese and tomato soup - it always reminds me of home so don't knock it not being distincly English. they can eat it, too. and, sadly for ya'll, chances are that this is the end of this particular well, that the next one in the Collection won't be along this vain. sorry, kids; that's how the wheel turns. if it turns back this way, it will. but as of right now i can't see it spinnin' in that direction. i do hope y'all enjoyed it, though. stay tuned, folks, for what's next, whatever that happens to be.


End file.
